








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 821 | 25% |
| Smokes | 310 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1220 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,669 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my poo smells like haribos | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Koffi | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | Lt. piiko | 54% | 191 |
| #4 | Lore | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | BALD PEEK Slime | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my poo smells like haribos | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Koffi | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | Lt. piiko | 54% | 191 |
| #4 | Lore | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | BALD PEEK Slime | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lore | 22 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Lt. piiko | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Koffi | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | my poo smells like haribos | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | BALD PEEK Slime | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. piiko | 533 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Lore | 121 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Koffi | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | BALD PEEK Slime | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | my poo smells like haribos | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lt. piiko | +3.07 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | my poo smells like haribos | +2.47 | 47 | 22 |
| #3 | Koffi | +0.92 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Pinke | +0.56 | 85 | 45 |
| #5 | Lore | +0.53 | 76 | 44 |





