








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1528 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2005 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2897 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,951 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSTAR | 91% | 56 |
| #2 | seras | 86% | 29 |
| #3 | Relaxo | 81% | 48 |
| #4 | 御坂 | 80% | 25 |
| #5 | sj | 78% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Relaxo | 81% | 48 |
| #4 | 御坂 | 80% | 25 |
| #5 | sj | 78% | 27 |
| #6 | < blank > | 76% | 75 |
| #7 | tod. | 74% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tod. | 27 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | < blank > | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | GSTAR | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Relaxo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | seras | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tod. | 106 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | < blank > | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | GSTAR | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | 御坂 | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Relaxo | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSTAR | +7.86 | 100 | 56 |
| #2 | < blank > | +6.85 | 100 | 35 |
| #3 | 御坂 | +2.99 | 97 | 50 |
| #4 | sj | +2.57 | 100 | 39 |
| #5 | doxe | +2.53 | 96 | 43 |





