








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,687 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2900 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3051 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2252 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2733 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,734,521 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den evige Bond | 21 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Dwarf | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | KvackiS | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | iMonkey | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | FlyingPantz^ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMonkey | 758 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | KvackiS | 753 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | FlyingPantz^ | 640 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | Dwarf | 531 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | Den evige Bond | 507 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvackiS | +2.18 | 84 | 79 |
| #2 | Dwarf | +1.66 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | FlyingPantz^ | +0.62 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | iMonkey | -0.41 | 50 | 74 |
| #5 | Balla Allan | -0.54 | 67 | 57 |





