








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 757 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 963 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2014 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2104 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,585,829 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | 50% | 114 |
| #2 | Alex Nguyen | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | 43% | 102 |
| #4 | inferno | 41% | 51 |
| #5 | assquake | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | 50% | 114 |
| #2 | Alex Nguyen | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | 43% | 102 |
| #4 | inferno | 41% | 51 |
| #5 | assquake | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOMAN⛟ | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Alex Nguyen | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | assquake | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | inferno | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex Nguyen | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | assquake | 166 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | 163 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | BOOMAN⛟ | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | inferno | 85 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | +4.73 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | BOOMAN⛟ | +4.20 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | Alex Nguyen | +2.96 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | inferno | -0.12 | 52 | 44 |
| #5 | assquake | -0.30 | 58 | 69 |





