








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3403 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2554 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2538 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3213 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,290 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marsh- | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | User™ | 63% | 146 |
| #3 | yrrah | 60% | 245 |
| #4 | Metro | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | Sinnak | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | -jLp | 59% | 29 |
| #7 | Freelogen | 58% | 43 |
| #8 | HEXED | 57% | 30 |
| #9 | Bloody Karma | 55% | 49 |
| #10 | Lewi | 52% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yrrah | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Bloody Karma | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Sinnak | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | User™ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Lewi | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yrrah | 1264 | 0.27 | 37 min |
| #2 | Lewi | 580 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | User™ | 266 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Marsh- | 250 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Freelogen | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloody Karma | +3.40 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | Marsh- | +3.13 | 89 | 75 |
| #3 | yrrah | +2.48 | 76 | 70 |
| #4 | User™ | +2.07 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | HEXED | +1.08 | 73 | 55 |





