










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 220 matches | 1,850 | |
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3207 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1962 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,079 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olsson | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Pajp | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | ruPertPuPk1n=D | 55% | 67 |
| #4 | Bandit^ | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | zbn | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | zbn | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ♥Pumba♥ | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ruPertPuPk1n=D | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | HoorJohan | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruPertPuPk1n=D | +5.40 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | Olsson | +2.66 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | ragnarr ♥ | +1.29 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Pajp | +1.07 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | Boom | +0.73 | 76 | 61 |





