








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1875 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 653 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,047 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soap | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | tapinn | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | soberdemon | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | 400mg IbuproFEIN 🔥 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | p13 😎 | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tapinn | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | soberdemon | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | 400mg IbuproFEIN 🔥 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | p13 😎 | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | dn0s0 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p13 😎 | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | 400mg IbuproFEIN 🔥 | 3 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | dn0s0 | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | soberdemon | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | soap | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soberdemon | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | 400mg IbuproFEIN 🔥 | 52 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | soap | 51 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | dn0s0 | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | p13 😎 | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tapinn | +2.93 | 79 | 31 |
| #2 | p13 😎 | +1.27 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | dn0s0 | +0.86 | 73 | 39 |
| #4 | 400mg IbuproFEIN 🔥 | -0.10 | 24 | 42 |
| #5 | atticus | -0.53 | 63 | 59 |





