








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2699 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1774 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1530 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1577 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,816 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Heinz | 46% | 28 |
| #12 | ♿ mindloud | 46% | 57 |
| #13 | Sωeeτy⛧ | 44% | 25 |
| #14 | halalcat | 43% | 67 |
| #15 | X4ND | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ mindloud | 19 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Bomp | 18 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | halalcat | 15 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | quoirky | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | wezas | 11 | 0.0085 |





