








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1029 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5333 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3455 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5057 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4340 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,213 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geek | 57% | 166 |
| #2 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 56% | 391 |
| #3 | gobL1n | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | Cain? | 56% | 129 |
| #5 | xLightningFire | 53% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 56% | 391 |
| #3 | gobL1n | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | Cain? | 56% | 129 |
| #5 | xLightningFire | 53% | 102 |
| #6 | nutty2q | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 46 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | geek | 45 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Cain? | 23 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | xLightningFire | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | gobL1n | 9 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 1333 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #2 | Cain? | 691 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | geek | 260 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | gobL1n | 231 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | xLightningFire | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | +3.89 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Cain? | +0.49 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | geek | +0.39 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | xLightningFire | +0.20 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | nutty2q | -0.08 | 78 | 45 |





