








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 181 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3325 | 14% |
| Smokes | 8151 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 8189 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4007 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,946,897 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elusive_Jackal | 56% | 103 |
| #2 | Shoeshang | 54% | 534 |
| #3 | HoesMad | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | giraffetrades | 49% | 282 |
| #5 | bandmanertons JR | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoeshang | 40 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | giraffetrades | 30 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | killallmytroubles | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | bandmanertons JR | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Elusive_Jackal | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | giraffetrades | 986 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Shoeshang | 486 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #3 | HoesMad | 472 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | bandmanertons JR | 343 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | killallmytroubles | 298 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | killallmytroubles | +5.66 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Porkchop | +2.28 | 49 | 51 |
| #3 | Shoeshang | +0.64 | 36 | 47 |
| #4 | HoesMad | +0.33 | 53 | 52 |
| #5 | giraffetrades | -1.31 | 48 | 62 |





