








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Esplay | 77 matches | 2,117 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2837 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4632 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4911 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7890 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,385,067 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪OGVilzu | 52% | 123 |
| #7 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 51% | 95 |
| #8 | jamal | 50% | 226 |
| #9 | Migu | 48% | 84 |
| #10 | asdasder | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ✪OGVilzu | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | asdasder | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Klipponaattori225 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | jamal | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪OGVilzu | 589 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | jessE | 454 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 404 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | jamal | 355 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Klipponaattori225 | 273 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOnKeY | +2.56 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | ✪OGVilzu | +2.33 | 84 | 83 |
| #3 | kakka | +1.96 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Migu | +1.47 | 86 | 77 |
| #5 | asdasder | -0.09 | 66 | 63 |





