








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4499 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7535 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 3350 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1204 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,802 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick is in Paris! | +2.98 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | AngloCentricNeoLiberalZeitgeist | -0.26 | 46 | 47 |
| #3 | ProtoEurasianHomoeroticZeitgeist | -0.38 | 53 | 46 |
| #4 | Shinai | -2.07 | 11 | 62 |
| #5 | Duke Tenderloin | -3.69 | 24 | 59 |





