








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 559 | 36% |
| Smokes | 417 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 249 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,828 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hud | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | m0NESY | 77% | 31 |
| #3 | Gerobus | 75% | 40 |
| #4 | Chhaam | 74% | 38 |
| #5 | arb1ter | 72% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hud | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | m0NESY | 77% | 31 |
| #3 | Gerobus | 75% | 40 |
| #4 | Chhaam | 74% | 38 |
| #5 | arb1ter | 72% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerobus | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | arb1ter | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerobus | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chhaam | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | arb1ter | 95 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hud | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | m0NESY | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerobus | +3.58 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | jry | +1.86 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | m0NESY | +1.65 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Hud | +0.52 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | arb1ter | -0.19 | 83 | 53 |





