








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6958 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7464 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4181 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5177 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,344 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullhagen | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | gus | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | pct89 | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Rice | 51% | 86 |
| #5 | Bosso | 51% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bosso | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Confortabel | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | pct89 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Bullhagen | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosso | 589 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Confortabel | 367 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Rice | 274 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | thomas | 190 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | pct89 | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bullhagen | +3.98 | 71 | 46 |
| #2 | bolé | +2.54 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | Bosso | -0.26 | 50 | 58 |
| #4 | sen | -0.70 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | thomas | -0.70 | 42 | 58 |





