








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9856 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8620 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6748 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8117 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,726 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1049 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotschopf | 55% | 181 |
| #2 | hajo_sesam | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | drunk3n | 49% | 79 |
| #4 | oN | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Shaeggi | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotschopf | 55% | 181 |
| #2 | hajo_sesam | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | drunk3n | 49% | 79 |
| #4 | oN | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Shaeggi | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotschopf | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | hajo_sesam | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | drunk3n | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Shaeggi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotschopf | 527 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Shaeggi | 278 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | drunk3n | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | hajo_sesam | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | oN | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no peek | +1.86 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | oN | +1.78 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | Rotschopf | -0.02 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | hajo_sesam | -0.71 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | drunk3n | -1.35 | 61 | 71 |





