








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 75 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2997 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2936 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1688 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,289 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philippovic | 89% | 18 |
| #2 | .DΣnny | 88% | 33 |
| #3 | Dönertier | win > acc | 52% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philippovic | 89% | 18 |
| #2 | .DΣnny | 88% | 33 |
| #3 | Dönertier | win > acc | 52% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dönertier | win > acc | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | .DΣnny | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dönertier | win > acc | 468 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | philippovic | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | .DΣnny | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philippovic | +2.83 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | .DΣnny | +2.55 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Dönertier | win > acc | +2.13 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Lyra` | -0.59 | 67 | 78 |





