








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1554 | 7% |
| Smokes | 11005 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 4849 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4465 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,238,298 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1056 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





