








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1549 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1518 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1223 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,238 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smatify | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Banyk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | BOT Olaf | 60% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smatify | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Banyk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | BOT Olaf | 60% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Olaf | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Olaf | 308 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Banyk | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | Smatify | 18 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#CornFlakes #Mülltonne | +3.88 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | BOT Olaf | +0.29 | 55 | 72 |
| #3 | Banyk | -0.65 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Smatify | -1.42 | 56 | 64 |





