








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,641 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 865 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1807 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,298 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkiee | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Sykotic | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | mike | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | sjokor0lf | 69% | 13 |
| #5 | Alc | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | c0rthzaa | 40% | 15 |
| #19 | TactricitaN | 40% | 20 |
| #20 | Adarma | 39% | 54 |
| #21 | Trypticon | 37% | 73 |
| #22 | VERAC | 31% | 13 |





