








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1348 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1840 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1087 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1442 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,996 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | izrail | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | wieBz | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Floamy | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | AMPed | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | chaChi | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | chaChi | 49% | 67 |
| #6 | MayhemZJ | 47% | 57 |
| #7 | Squanchy | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | leo | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | cjULTRA | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Floamy | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | leo | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | wieBz | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaChi | 308 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | AMPed | 171 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Floamy | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | MayhemZJ | 132 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | wieBz | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | izrail | +2.62 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | chaChi | +2.52 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | LongLimbs | +1.50 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | leo | +0.02 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Floamy | -0.21 | 68 | 60 |





